The Unbreakable Betty Blue

Ol’ Jeremy Bucklesworth had the biggest Tractor in all of Tennessee. He lived in the town of Wally Free. It was big, and old, and the bluest blue you’ve ever seen. Jeremy named her “Betty Blue” because he thought it was prettiest name he ever heard. Jeremy drove the Tractor everywhere he went. If you saw Jeremy, you knew he would be riding his tractor. He was always on that tractor.

When Jeremy went school, he would ride his tractor. When Jeremy went to the store, his tractor he would ride. When Jeremy went to the country square dance championship, Jeremy rode his tractor. Jeremy also won the county square dance championship because Jeremy was a pretty good dancer himself. When he wasn’t riding Betty Blue.

Jeremy loved that truck, and the truck loved Jeremy. He would fix it when he had to, but, boy, would he ride it all over when it was working. One day, he rode from the second the sun rose up to the minute the sun set. When he slept, he would always sleep with the keys in his hand. When he wasn’t riding his tractor, he was dreaming about it.

Then one day, Larson moved to town. Larson owned a tractor too. Larson was short. His hands were too big for his body. Whenever he shook someone’s hand, he would break it. In his first day he broke six people’s hands. On his second day, he broke ten. Within the first week, Larson had broke fifty-five hands. Before long, the whole town’s hands were broken, and no one could do anything. No one could write their homework, or drive their cars, throw their footballs, or open their jars.

In one month’s time, there was no one with hands, except for Ol’ Jeremy Bucklesworth. He wasn’t in town long enough to get off his tractor to shake Larson’s hand. The people of Wally Free walked to the Bucklesworth farm, and approached Ol’ Jeremy to ask him a favor.

“Jeremy please, drive him out of town. You have Betty Blue, the best tractor around. He’s broken all our arms and we don’t know what to do. Won’t you help us beat him with your Betty Blue.”

Jeremy thought of what he could do. “Doesn’t Larson have a tractor too?” Jeremy asked.

The people said yes, and Jeremy and them talked, and in less than an hour they devised a plan. Jeremy would formally challenge Larson to a tractor race. The winner could stay, and the loser would have to leave.

“No worries,” said Ol’ Jeremy Bucklesworth, “I’m the best driver around. I’ll get him and big hands to drive away for good.”

The next day at noon, the whole town came to Main street. Larson was there with his tractor ready to go. It was red, and it had a big dent below. Larson was looking at his big hands with a smile. He hadn’t broken anyone’s hand in a while.

Jeremy got off his tractor and walked up to him. He had on his face and stunning grin. Larson walked up next to Jeremy.

“You’re gonna lose,” said Larson, “I already know it. Once I beat you this town is mine.”

Jeremy laughed. He knew that Larson could hardly drive the tractor. “You’ll choke on those words,” Jeremy said, “Let’s get this done. I have a farm to tractor.”

“May the best man win,” said Larson, and they shook hands. Jeremy was caught off guard, and accidentally shook Larson’s hand. He was only trying to show some sportsmanship, but he heard the crunch. Jeremy Bucklesworth hand was broken. The whole town gasped. Larson let out a chuckle, then ran to his tractor.

Jeremy held his hand, and began to wonder. Was this the end, he thought to himself. Am I about to lose this town to that ugly red tractor.

He swallowed a big gulp then ran to his tractor. He got on, started the engine, then wondered how he would use the controls. He saw Larson drive away. “Let’s do this Betty Blue,” he yelled to the town, then with his teeth, he bit down on the controls, and pushed down on the accelerator.

He was biting Betty Blue, but making good speed. Larson saw this and started to get scared. All they had to do was race up and down Main street. Larson was already half way there. He just had to turn around, drive down and the town was his. Ol’ Jeremy Bucklesworth wouldn’t let that happen.

Larson turned his tractor around, and when he did he saw Jeremy coming for him. Jeremy looked like a parrot, eating his steering wheel. He was headed right for Larson’s tractor! It was on a collision course. Jeremy was playing chicken with him. Larson wanted to call his bluff, but he swerved at the last second. He went off the road, and drove his tractor right into a ditch. The tractor went flying, then fell with a great Thwack. The front right tire on the wheel broke clean off. Larson’s tractor was dead.

Ol’ Jeremy, with his teeth and his broken hand, slowly turned around. He stuck out his tongue at Larson as he passed, then slowly drove back down Main Street, winning the race. The whole town cheered, with all their broken hands. Larson was so embarrassed, he just left his tractor and ran. He never returned with his tremendous hands.

They decided to leave that broken tractor sitting in that ditch, as a symbol to everyone that in Wally Free, there’s only one tractor. Betty Blue and the broken hands were forever happy in Wally Free, and that night, they held a special dance: The Wally Free Broken Hand Square Dance Jamboree.