Holiday Vegan

Holiday Time Strikes Again.

And this Holiday is hilariously fun. I went vegan, and no one gives a fuck about it with their holiday feasts.

To be completely honest, I can't be happier. The nausea of telling people you're not doing the milk and butter is petty. Not because of food restrictions. That's not an issue for me. It's expecting people to read your diet. Like dude, there's NO reason that anyone hosting me for a dinner should know I've decided not to eat chocolate that's milk-based, or turkey meat, or anything with cheese. Really uncool.

Any vegans reading this: STOP it. Eat what you can, there's always a veggie tray, and FRANKLY

Go Ghost: It's a fun game to shut the fuck up and see if anyone else will notice you slyly avoiding the turkey casserole. Promised to make you smile while you're on your secret mission.

I, on the other hand, am weak... like cheese. I melt at the mere sight of freshly prepared Turkey... So this Holiday, I've made the weak decision to eat whatever the fuck I want.

And I felt it. I'm Ukrainian. So a traditional Ukrainian Meal means Meat and Butter in copious amounts.

I ate it. I ate all of it. And the cheese, and the Butter, and women, and the children too. (Star Wars reference).

If you're a health-reason vegan (aka you're into the diet merely to cut animal fat, not stop wearing leather), DON'T PANIC.

One Thigh won't kill you.

7 thighs might help kill you.

It's all a mixture of moderation and exercise.

For example: If you eat some meat, plan to do a nice long run or 40+ min of workout the next day. You'll burn off the excess animal fat as soon as you hit the pavement. And by the time you come back, eat a salad. Your sluggish stomach will be rejuvenated in no time.

PRO Tip: The morning of the big feast, get up asap and DO SOME CARDIO. It'll boost your metabolism in no time and keep your fat burning throughout the day at maximum overdrive.

BUMP your metabolism, and your will feel like a God, Eat Like a King, and Sleep Like a Baby.